Just Another Victimized Woman: Rihanna's Victimization and the Media that Delegitimizes It

I'm pissed off! I'm pissed off about the coverage of Rihanna's victimization at the hands of abusive boyfriend, Chris Brown (who everyone knew was fucked up so if it came as a shock to you, you weren't paying attention). When the story first came out, I was angry that the media, once again, over stepped its boundaries and widely publicized the gruesome photos of Rihanna after Chris Brown beat her in the car. Knowing how our cannibalist society thrives on violent and traumatizing stories such as this, I was well aware that the media would continue to have a hay-day and that people would talk about it for three-fourths of 2009, surely making the story one of the top ten headline celebrity stories for the end-of-the-year New Year's countdowns. This frustrated me even more. What followed the news coverage of Rihanna's case demonstrates why.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMBXDn9xL3o

Recently, Oprah - Queen America herself - referred to Rihanna's victimization as a "teachable moment". According to Reverend Oprah, Rihanna is sending the wrong message to young women by not getting a restraining order against Chris Brown, ultimately continuing contact with him. Further, she is setting a poor example to young women who look up to her and other women who are in abusive relationships. Being a celebrity does not make someone any less of a victim in any given violent situation than it does the average person. No one can expect Rihanna to be an advocate for abused women, and she can't possibly lead by example. Expecting her to do so is denouncing the realities of abusive relationships and Rihanna's situation.

And for some tasty dessert: Oprah, telling Rihanna to leave Chris Brown because "if he hit you once, he'll hit you again". Well if that doesn't sound like every other ignorant person in this country... Oprah, darling, you cannot claim to be the all-knowing strong black Queen of America and demand that Rihanna recognize her situation and hit the ground running. After all, if Oprah truly held that title, she would be well aware of the fact that, on average, the abused woman must leave her partner SEVEN TIMES before she leaves him forever. And Oprah expecting Rihanna, solely because she is a celebrity and a role model for young women (and not a very good one regardless of her abusive relationship. what the fuck, Oprah?), to be the exception to the very substantiated rule is, again, denying and ignoring the realities of abusive relationships.

Rihanna cannot possibly be expected to get out of her relationship with the snap of Oprah's Jesus-like fingers and be strong for all women. That's a burden no woman - abused or not - should hold. It is not any easier for Rihanna than it is for any other woman. And it is difficult, regardless of the common belief that even the glorified - and clearly sheltered - Oprah holds.

It seems that Rihanna's abusive relationship, in being so widely - and wrongly - publicized, has the power to raise awareness about the issue of gender violence. However, publicizing the intimate details - PICTURES?! - of such a private situation is a problem; publicizing the story just because the victimized woman is a celebrity is a problem. Rihanna is no different than every other victimized woman in this country. When our mothers were beaten at the hands of their partners, were their black eyes, bloody noses, cut lips, torn t-shirts, dark sunglasses, bruised arms distributed widely across the U.S.? Neither should Rihanna's. She is not special and neither is this case! Rihanna is just another victimized woman.

Ideally, the dialogue about Rihanna and the abusive bastard known as Chris Brown could be a cornerstone of the shift towards recognizing that it's not as easy to leave as it sounds, that abusive relationships are more common than people care to acknowledge, and that Oprah has always been full of shit! However, contrary to what Oprah thinks, this is not a teachable moment, and it shouldn't be used as one just because Rihanna is a celebrity. Drop your tabloids, turn off ET and Oprah, and write Rihanna a letter of support...